January 27th, 2010 | Published in General
How are you doing in your life? Are you happy, are you making enough money, do you have enough free time for yourself or your family? Well I can help you with some of these things, well I don’t know about the happy part that one you’ll have to handle on your own. Just use the free resources that I’m sharing with you and if all goes well we will all profit.
February 9th, 2010 | Published in Jokes
Tax his cow, Tax his goat;
Tax his pants, Tax his coat;
Tax his crop, Tax his work;
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt;
Tax his chew, Tax his smoke (now ain’t that the truth);
Teach him taxing is no joke.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule;
Tell him, Taxing is the rule.
Tax his oil, Tax his gas (again ain’t that the truth)
Tax his notes, Tax his cash (oh boy a pattern emerges);
Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, Tax him more;
Tax him till he’s good and sore.
Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax his sod in which he’s laid.
Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove him to his doom.”
After he’s gone, we won’t relax,
We’ll still collect inheritance tax.
February 9th, 2010 | Published in Jokes
To: Internal Revenue Service, Department of the Treasury Washington, DC 20001
Enclosed is my 2003 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from USA Today archives. In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seats.
Please find enclosed in this package four toilet seats (value $2,400.00) and six hammers (value $1,029.00). This is in payment for my total tax due of $3,429.00.
Out of a sense of patriotic duty, and to assist in the political purification of our government, I am also enclosing a 1.5 inch Phillips head screw, for which HUD duly recorded and approved a purchase value of $22.00, as my contribution to fulfill the Presidential Election Fund option on Form 1040.
It has been a pleasure to pay my taxes this year, and I look forward to paying them again next year in accordance with officially established government values.
Sincerely,
Another satisfied taxpayer
February 9th, 2010 | Published in Jokes
A man, called to testify at the IRS (The US tax authority) asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. ”Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper.” Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. ”Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.”
Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma. ”Let me tell you a story,” replied the rabbi. “A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. ’Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.’ But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. ‘Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.”
The man protested: ”What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?”
“No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!”
February 9th, 2010 | Published in Jokes
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’
I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a
demonstration?’
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’
Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor’s jaw drops.
Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.’
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he tries
hard, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much pees all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a big win.
But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he
could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about
it.’
February 7th, 2010 | Published in Music and Video
I heard a song on XM Radio the other day and I really liked it… it was Cry Little Sister, but not the same one from Lost Boys, Lost Boys II, or True Blood! This one is better, well to my ears anyway here are some YouTube videos of that group… they are called Seasons After just so you know.
Well there you have it…
February 7th, 2010 | Published in Desktop Wallpaper
I’m at work on the boat, we are doing a little tow work in Armant LM 153. We’re about done so this is going to be a quick post, in short I have found a few desktop wallpapers that I would like to share with everyone… plus I need a break from trying to set-up my own World of Warcraft server to use on patch days lol, plus I want to be able to walk around taking my time getting used to the Instances with no one else around.
Anyway here are the backgrounds…
Well there we have it, 12 wallpapers for your desktop… and no I did not make any of these, and yes they did come from other sites but I do not remember where so I figured that I’d share them before I remove them from my laptop. I hope you enjoy these, and I plan on adding more soon… I have hundreds but I’m not adding all of them.